Canned Meat Unicorn Plush
Take home these 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience! Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland, there are crunchy horn bits in every bite – an excellent source of calcium. It tastes like rotisserie chicken, but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness. Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d’oeuvres, and more.
This sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties! Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol. Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they’re healthy as horses! Okay, for real: You can’t eat this. It’s a dismembered stuffed unicorn plush in a can. The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside, so no can opener needed.